Wednesday, April 11, 2012

What I (am still) learning from 'Ummi vs PhD' - 1

Today and tomorrow will not be the same, for us moms, especially studying moms out there. Our motivation is always up and down. Self-discipline is another HUGE issue to tackle. Health issues, not just ours, husband's and kids' contribute to our studying momentum.

I have a unwavering respects for Moms who are studying. It is not easy... but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE!

Dr, Shafis, a wonder-Mom (of Alya and Amir) who can proudly say, 'Been there, done that!' I'm proud of you, babe!

Of course, I am not one of the moms who has clutched a PhD scroll (just yet).. but I'm going to, insha Allah, however hard and long (not too long, I hope =D) it takes...

To the mommies who are consolidating on furthering their studies out there.. before you embark on this journey, please think about this...

  • Do my husband and family support me, mentally and physically? 
    • Remember, at times, you need to be away to the library, collect your data, meet your supervisor, attend seminars/courses - you need others to support you, to attend to your kids. It is essential that you have strong support at home. 
    • You need your husband's approval. Talk about it. Discuss... really take time to discuss.
    • Get the kids on board, too! It's a family effort. When they see Abi helps out Ummi running errands and doing chores, trying to make life easier for Ummi while she's studying, insha Allah, they will too. Don't forget to explain to them the importance of you studying and them helping out, even though they are young.

  •  Do I really want to know about the topic/title that I've chosen? REALLY?
    • If the answer is YES, go on ahead, because remember, you have to eat, pray, love (ahaks!), sleep, wake up, drink, type, read, drafting, re-drafting the topic you've chosen for at least another 4 years of your life. And if you're really 'pro' in it, you are actually opening up a fantastic new chapter in your life. Hey, being a 'specialist' in a field is something extraordinary, masha Allah!
    • You need to have fun in reading, writing, listening and speaking about your topic. When you have fun, you'll be passionate about your topic. That's crucial.

Bottom line, going back to school and being an Ummi at the same time is a tough, challenging job. What we can do is to execute our plans at our very best, strive to achieve the finest result.

PRAY. Allah is there for you.. to listen to your anguish and anxiousness.

HAVE FUN. Your kids will not enjoy stressed-out Ummi. And YOU will not enjoy your kids too (and that's a pity!!)

Don't be too hard on yourself. The time will pass whether you push yourself or not, and I strongly believe that in the long run, you'll be more grateful to look back on this time and you be satisfied, for you have done your best, and have fun while doing it.

Happy studying, momsies! You are superwomen! And as asserted by Shafis (2012), 'We do what we have to do and pray we'll do it well...with His blessings'.


  1. Thank you for this. I don't know who you are but i followed ur blog link that someone shared on my FB page. At this very moment, I'm at a crossroad of my life where I have spent 3 years pursuing my PhD and I'm at a stage where i feel i wanna give up and nothing matters anymore. So near, yet so far. I guess dah muak kut. Anyway, ur blog post has somehow lifted up my spirits a bit and i guess it's Allah's ways and signs of telling me to just hang on a little bit longer and keep plodding on. So, thank you again for this post!

    1. FAZZ AZIZ. The 3rd episode is dedicated to you.. and me too!! Never ever give up!!

  2. Azza .. you are such an inspiration.. you are right, to do PhD, you DO need proper planning. Unfortunately I have done in the other way round hence the challenges that came along. My PhD survived but there are other things I have to sacrifice and a lot that I need to rectify, but I know all these only make me stronger and I always ask His help to ease any burden if He wish so.. My prayers are always with you Azza, with you 5 kids and your studies alongside. We women are stronger than we know, harvest it and stay on the right track. InsyaAllah... ameen


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