Monday, November 21, 2011

What I learn from 'love at first sight'.

No matter how painful the pregnancy journey and labour were, the first sight of my boys demolished all the hardship. That's Allah's special gift to us mothers. Immediate cure. Subhanallah. 

3 days old twins. (Look at my HUGE hands as a comparison to the teeny twins!)
Lesson learned, after every hardship, Allah will always bestow us ease and relieve. And the beauty of it is, you forgot how bad the hardship was, since your heart is overflowing with happiness and gratefulness towards His gifts for you..

Praise be to Allah.

Abi and the twins - the first met face to face on their 10th day.

Abi experienced, once again, love at first sight... unconditional love of a father.

Previously, my husband first saw his twins via Skype from Mecca. He arrived on KT2 flight from Jeddah and met his latest clans on their 10th day off-womb. Alhamdulillah... And in 2011... Abi was the biggest winner, a wonderful hajj experience, a book and a set of twins!

Love you & Bravo, Abang!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

What I learn from 'You'll never walk alone 1 - Caesarean experience'

Firstly, no... this entry has no connection with Liverpool (though my husband is a die-hard Liverpool fan!)

This entry is dedicated to the O&G team in Hospital Tuanku Jaafar Seremban who had been wonderfully calm and reassuring throughout the labour process of my twins.

~~~ Flash back ~~ 

I'm only at my 34th week of pregnancy but the signs of labour pains were becoming vivid. Swollen feet, severe back pain, the persistent and consistent pain of contractions. But of course, as always, I was in denial. Just another Braxton Hicks. I have been in labour three times previously, and I was pretty sure how the 'real-actual' labour feels like..

Nonetheless, since my husband was away performing his Hajj (May Allah bestows him ease in his Hajj and accepts all his ibadah,  aamin Ya Rabb!), I was in the fantastic, 1st class care of my parents. Mak looked cool and relaxed (she saw me delivered Al Fateh and Alwani in King Eddie!), kept on saying 'Say your zikr,' but Abah was the opposite. He rarely saw me in pain, and I think it's hard for dads to see their daughters (and sons) in a super uncomfortable phase. And so, he pleaded (and begged) me to pay a visit to the hospital.

Being an obedient daughter, I followed his suggestion, though I'm pretty sure I was not in real labour (still in denial, ahak!!). So,at 2.45pm 3.11.11, I went to the screening room of the O&G department with my battered pink pregnancy book. And gave myself up to the Med Team of HTJS, literally and physically!


No, I was not dilated (well, only 2cm) but the MD was concern since my contractions were pretty close and long (4 in 10mins). Then I was wheeled to see the Head of the O&G, Dr K, and did the ultrasound, to see whether the twins were behaving themselves in there. And yes they were, at 34weeks & 6days, Dr K estimated them to be 2.3 kgs each. Then THE question asked
'Are you ready to have your twins today?' As easy as that!?!! 
- 'Aren't you busy doc?' (still in denial!! Oh Azza, come on!!!). 
He said, 'I'm free at six, we can have it done then!'
- 'Can I text my hubs, first?' (texting... tit tit tit...)
(answered, Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan ayang. Abang doakan semuanya selamat dan Allah menyediakan segalanya yang terbaik. Terima kasih kerana menjadi seorang mujahidah yang tabah dan isteri yang solehah)
'What did he say?'
- 'Errmmm, yes?! He said go on with the procedure'.

Papers were signed, blood were taken, hospital gown were given.

I was wheeled to the prep area aka labour hall. Lying down, listening to my 'neighbours' screeching, huffing and puffing, grunting and squealing - fighting their own lives for another one. 

I silently prayed that Allah grant them ease and to me too. 
I prayed for my husband, Abah and Mak to be calm and not to worry too much about me. 
I prayed that my kids at home aren't misbehaving.
I prayed for the ease of the caesarean procedure.
I prayed that my aurat would not be opened unnecessarily.
I prayed a lot... (as I was taught by a Lebanese friend, back in Muslim Ladies College in Perth that it is during this specific time that our prayers would be heard and answered, insha Allah.)

A friendly and soft spoken staff nurse came to me and told me gently that she was going to insert a catheter into my bladder and she told me to stay calm and to recite alot of salawat upon Rasulullah s.a.w.

Another 10 minutes, another staff nurse (SN A) came in and told me that she heard me saying to an Indian nurse that I wanted to change into the op cap (looking like the green shower cap) only when I was in the OT. There are too many people here. And Alhamdulillah, she brought with her a special op cap which covered the head, as well as the neck. I changed straight away. Allah answers your prayers if you asked for help.. remember, you never walk alone!

SN A came again to my cubicle. She told me Dr Krishna called in and he might be half an hour late. SN A asked me if I would like to perform my Asr prayers first, but I need to do it sitting down. Alhamdullillah, Allah creates ways for me to make this experience more beautiful. SN A gave me spray bottle for my wudhu' and I performed my first Asr prayers on a hospital trolley!

I was wheeled into the OT. Even up to this time, I kept my composure calm and composed. I must admit that He must have supplied me an endless 'tranquil pills' - that's the power of zikr and salawat upon Rasulullah. I believed that Allah has assigned me this path, performing the c-sect, giving birth to twins alone-ish, giving birth in Seremban, and not in Kuala Terengganu, premature labour, etc. Nevertheless, He didn't make the path rougher, He wants to show me that His plans are the best...

To be continued in 'You'll never walk alone 2'..

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

What I learn from 'You'll never walk alone 2 - Caesarean experience'

Continuation from 'You'll Never Walk Alone 1'

I was greeted at the OT door by an anesthetist. Fluently verse in English and Malay, informing me all the risks performing spinal during the c-sect op. During the Q&A, I politely asked the anest that I really wanted a reassurance that the spinal would work during op, I had a bad experience with Yusuf, whereby the epidural didn't work since all the meds were tubed onto the hosp bed. 

She was very kind by telling me that she would prove to me it'd work. 'And don't stop your du'as and zikr, they are our weapons as Muslims', masha Allah, another support sent by Allah! Allahu Akbar!!

7.15 pm
I was wheeled into the actual OT where the operation would be held. I saw some familiar faces (SN A, Dr Anest) smiling under their surgical masks. By the way, I still had big contractions and in between one of the contractions, SN A and another nurse propped me up and asked me to recite salawat, bismillah and shahadah, and sit very still - so I did. After completing the shahadah, Dr Anest called, 'Spinal in' and patted my shoulder. Praise to Allah, it was done so smoothly that I was not in pain, and most importantly, I was not agitated!

(within a minute, I felt pin and needles on my toes then no sensation at all. I tried to wiggle my foot, but nothing happen. It was a weird feeling, I must admit!)

Dr Anest then came next to me with a pin, and said, 'Do you feel anything?'
- 'What do you mean doc?'
'I'm pricking your thigh..' (then she pricked the same pin onto my arms)
- 'Ouch!'
'So the meds is working, insha Allah. Dont worry, you are in superb hands. This surgical team is the best!' consoled Dr Anest.
- 'Alhamdulillah. Thanks alot Doc!'

Then a formal introduction begins. Yes, the have a taaruf session in the OT! They introduced themselves.

'First surgeon, Dr K'
'Second surgeon, Dr Q'
'Anesthetist, Dr Anest'
'Pediatrics, Dr X' 
'First catcher, SN A'
'2nd catcher, SN X'
'SN Y'
'SN Z'


'Patient?' called Dr K again.
- 'Oh I need to introduce myself as well?'
'Yes, ma'am!'
- 'Hi all, you're going to cut AZZA JAUHAR AHMAD TAJUDDIN'
And everybody laughed.

And so the procedure started. My bed was strategically situated under the shiny new aluminum lights, whereby the reflection was directly on the operated area. Yes, I was able to see the whole procedure, LIVE and EXCLUSIVE!! I can see people playing with the inside of my body!!! 

I faced the left, SN A told me gently not to face that side, since there was alot of tools.
I faced the right, another staff nurse told me that my bp reading was not stable if I face that way.
I looked up, shut my eyes, SN A called my name, I answered, she said please keep my eyes open, so that they knew that I was awake. 
Oh no!!! I need to look at the LIVE telecast!!!

Yes, I saw the surgeons cut three layers of my tummy, putting a 'transformers gadget' which opened up the cut to a nice size. slide through some organs (I think) and.......... taraaa... first twin in a pouch! It was grey! Dr K pulled it up and showed me and quickly handed him to the first catcher, '1945, first twin', announced Dr K.

The next minute, the second was pulled, another grey pouch. 'Just like in the shopping center, buy one get one free!' I exclaimed. 
Dr A chuckled then told me, 'I should tell my wife that! By the way, I have a set of twins too, both girls, SN A has a set of girls as well, Dr K has a boy and girl twins, Dr X the paeds is expecting twin boys!'
Dr K, 'A room full of privileged parents of twins!'

Then the sewing process took place. It took Dr K half an hour to sew me up. Upon finishing, Dr A quickly asked Dr K's permission to leave the OT to perform the maghrib prayers. Subhanallah, I was helped by good Muslims, alhamdulillah!

SN A and SN X then approached me with my boys! Masha Allah... those two babies were swimming in my womb minutes ago, and now, they are breathing on their own. Smooched them, confirmed their IDs on the blue tags on their feet and they were then moved to NICU.

Twin A, Twin B
2.1kg, 2.2kg
1945, 1946
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for making the experience a beautiful one. You ease the way... thank you Allah.
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