Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What I learn from 'our Bali retreat (just the two of us!)'.

It was the first time for both of us to leave the kids at home and had a quick retreat. It wasn't an easy decision (at my part) but we believe it's a good idea for us to have a quick getaway and share good quality time together .

And so, after 7 years of marriage, 3 kids and a PhD (and another one to go, insha Allah) <-- (sounds like the script in the Amazing Race finale!!! Hahah), we booked our tix and hotels, left the kids with my ever so wonderful parents, and took a plane to BALI!!

Well, I won't bother telling the details of our travel itinerary =p - but I'll gladly share the things we've learned from the quick getaway.

  • Getaways can help to refresh and revive relationships. It is like breathing fresh air into them, re-energizing them with greater intimacy and deeper love.This might sound kinky, but hey, as we're so absorbed in our responsibilities and roles at work and home, we could forget how we began as a unit. As vacation is time to devote ourselves to rest and relax from work or study, it's the best time to devote our quality time for each other! (Parents with small children without a helper will know that vacation with kids is not really a totally relaxing time, though it's important and special, too).
  • The Bali retreat allow us to focus on each other, share memorable life experiences together, and simply have fun, with no interference from work or home. It focused on what we love to do together - we simply shared the moment! (However, during one of my phone call home, I confessed that I cried after talking to the children!! It was a big distraction leaving the kids for the first time, but hey, it's only for 2 days!)
  • A couple's vacation is when you REALLY spend your quality time together. Hence it's important for both of you to talk about your relationship: where it had been, how did you go through the rough times, how do you plan to make it better - for yourselves and for the kids. When you communicate earnestly and discussed openly with your spouse, your objectives will be clearer and you'll work towards the same goals - and this will make you closer and happier with each other. And automatically, the kids will benefit from the healthy and loving relationship, too, insha Allah!
  • Taking a vacation is the healthy thing to do! It's healthy for your mind, body and relationship. A getaway is like hitting the reset button (after saving all the important files!). Taking a retreat, vacating my mind off my research (just for the shortest period of time =D), improved my motivation and concentration! I don't want to risk myself into serious burnout. (And the vacation was a 'present' for myself for completing my CoS report successfully!)
  • The retreat should be well within your budget. Hence, (budget and detail trip) planning is essential. Since we are the frequent flyer of AirAsia, we managed to grab the RM20 tickets to Bali, and booked the hotel through - and alhamdulillah, we managed to grab great bargains from both!
  • It's super fun going out on a halal date with your husband! Trust me!
Kuta Beach, Bali.

I hope that I don't have to wait another 7 years and 3 more kids for the next vacation!! A present for another PhD in the house would be nice... (hint.. hint...)

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 
~Mignon McLaughlin

Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company.  ~John Gottman

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. 
~Ruth Bell Graham


  1. i like! and for 2mnths now with a kid, i understand what does it means to have quality time with husband

  2. i want! but now that my mother has passed away (al-Fatihah), there's no one (whom the kids are comfortable with/close enough) who could help look after my kids for extended period of time (a few days). my father don't really 'approve' of us going out 'for fun' without the kids anyway (taking a break is not as essential as going to work?), he saw it as being selfish & unfair for the kids.. *sigh* pretty old school, i guess. i personally think it's important to spend quality time alone with one's husband/wife. i have a colleague who made it a point to have a couple vacation once a year!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...