Monday, May 21, 2012

What I learn from 'time-out vs time-in'

Grumpy young man... oh yes, he can be one!

 What consequences do you use when your kids misbehave?

I used time-out sessions for my kids. It worked to a certain extend, but not anymore... it has just lost its 'power' to heal the bad manners. But Alhamdulillah, today, Allah grants me an idea of conducting a 'time-in'.

'TIME-IN' can be accomplished by sending your child to a designated spot where he must complete a task that has a definite beginning and end. This could be putting together a small puzzle, memorising a line/two from a surah, completing 3 pages of revision book, scrub their shoes, clean and clear a certain area of the house which is toy messy, peeling carrots.. any activity that can has a definite beginning and end . A 'time-in' diverts his energies and encourages him to focus on something positive.

Re-arranging the books is a good time-in activity, especially books with numerical orders (i.e. Mr Men collection.)

Another way to teach our children, in every action, there is a consequence, we  create a homemade "Correction" can. This works when the children can understand that if they do bad things, they need to face the outcome. And the outcome is time in using the "Correction" can. 

In every action, there is a consequence - good and bad. Teach our child to choose the correct action

We fill it with tickets or slips of paper with various consequences written on them. Instead of giving your child a time-out, send her to the can for a slip. A few ideas might include no TV or computer after school or an extra chore.We also toss in a blank piece of paper, a "mercy" ticket, which gives us an opportunity to talk about how Allah gives us mercy even when we deserve punishment (I personally love this tix.. there are lots of stories of the prophets showing Allah's mercy. My children love stories, and sometimes it serves a better purpose then time-out/in!)

Fill in this can with various consequences as well as "mercy" tickets. A good way to use your scrap paper, as well as to source out house chores to your children!

What I learn is that, disciplining our children takes dedication and effort.  It also helps to mix in a little creativity when needed. 


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