What I learn from 'Playgroup chit chat - Sawmia's Vadey'

When Al Fateh was two and Alwani was a newborn, we frequent the playgroup in our area. It's held once a week where moms and dads brought their child(ren) to meet others at the same age. It's a get-together time for the moms, too. Most of the time, we brought a plate of food to share. Sawmia, originated from India but has been staying in Perth for ages, always brought vegetarian food. One of them was my favourite, Vadey!!

This is Sawmia's version, simply yet super tasty!

Baked version.

Sawmia's Vadey

1. Yellow split peas - soaked
• 3 portions blend to paste
• a portion as it is.
2. Curry leaves
3. Chopped onions
4. Chillies, both powder and coarse
5. Salt to taste.

Mix them all. Shape them into balls - flatten them.

Deep fry until golden.

Serve hot.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy eh? I always make them in a big batch. I don't fry them all, but bake most of them, cool them, and place them in small packets. Then deep freeze them. I only take a packet at a time for tea time. Clever eh? heheh.. Mak's technique.

Frozen vadeys ready to be baked/fried.

Bon Appétit!

 AF AW playgroup

What I learn from 'Hamza Yusuf's artistic talent - unleashed!'

My husband came back from his work, emptied his pocket onto the top of the dresser. It consisted of the usual items for a lecturer, which include multi coloured marker pens. Afterwards, our usual routine is to perform the Asr prayers together before having our tea.

While performing the prayers, I heard an 'unidentifiable child' (since I was praying) dragging a stool to the master bedroom and a few moments later, I could smell a very distinct smell of the ink from marker pen.. (so much of khusyu' asr prayers that day! Astaghfirullah!)

And this was the masterpiece.

I've never thought Yusuf, at the wee age of two, was talented not just in graffiti art, but also in problem solving activities. He managed to observe Abi's behaviour (with the sole interest in the marker pen), drag the stool from the kitchen sink to the master bedroom, climbed, tiptoed and secure his precious goal - the glorified marker pen! He must have been interested in it for a long time, for Yusuf was banned to even hold it since an earlier incident, which caused Alwani's cheeks and feet were stained for nearly 4 days.

And we were right to ban him.

Proudly admitting 'Yusuf conteng..' (I doodled this.)

Warning was due. We believe that a child should be told that he/she did a wrong thing, however young they are. It is important to start early because the child might thought what his/her actions were purely normal and acceptable. He/She would be shocked (not forgetting, would rebel in return) when he/she was told off in another year or two. In his mind, he might think, 'why can't I do it now when I've been doing this for the past 5 years!?' Hence, it is important to start disciplining our child as early as possible.

 I don't know how to rotate videos. Sorry for the head spin! This footage was taken in Malay Language.

Obviously, Yusuf still finds it hard to say sorry and making eye contact at the same time. We are still working on it. I realised that when my kids apologised without making eye contact, the tendency to make the same mistake all over again is highly promising.

On the same note, I believe that it is highly essential for both parents to be on the same page on the discipline routine. The discipline regime won't work when the mom is exercising it and the father 'rescues' the child. Children are intelligent creatures, and do not underestimate them.

And so, Hamza Yusuf's punishment was to help me clean up his own mess. He tried (in an extremely short time), and then proclaimed, 'Penat. Nak milk, please' (I'm exhausted. Can I have milk, please). And I told him straight to his face, with a wicked smile, 'I'm a bit busy, you can play outside first', and believe it or not, he dashed out to play with his trike, without demanding his rights to have milk! Told you that the wee Nessie can be very bright and sharp, even when he's only two!

So, accompanied with the faithful WD40 (the essential ointment for my hubster's Pinarello wheel), I sprayed and scrubbed with the dish scrub and after half an hour of my right hand work-out, voilà!!

 

Not as good as new, but at least our rented wall was clear(ish) from Yusuf's unwelcomed artwork.

Another practice I learned (and perhaps, try to practise) from renting a house in Australia was to return something you borrowed in as perfect condition as possible. The issue of being responsible (amanah) should be put into practice, especially when you're using another's house for shelter and safety. Embedding the feeling of respect to our landlord's property should be applied not only within ourselves, but also within our children.

Yusuf knew what he did was wrong. He even confessed to our landlady (who actually lived next door to us) and said sorry! Now, how can you actually be cross with the sweet wee Nessie?

What I learn from 'Machik Norziah aka Mak Shafis - Mee Rebus Johor'

I learned this recipe when I stayed in Dealy Close, Cannington, when the purple-skinned-white-flesh kumara were in abundance. At that time Shafis' mom worked her magic in the kitchen. I missed those 'hu-ha' carefree moments.

This is my reproduction of Macik Norziah's Mee Rebus. Made the meal for two main reasons:

1. The orange-flesh kumara was super cheap in Mydin last week. 

2. Mr Hubs randomly talked about Mak Shafis' mee rebus (what a huge hint!!)

Ingredients for:

Gravy

A1. heaps of onions, 1 inch ginger, garlic, chilli powder

A2. 2 sticks of lemon grass, Babas fish curry powder

A3. 3 tbs dried shrimps

B1. Kumara of any type  - peel, wash, dice, boil, blend

Blend A1, A2 and A3. Stir fry in a big pot with appropriate amount of oil.

If you have shrimp stock, chuck it in the pot, if not, water will do. 

When all are nicely boiled, pour in the blended kumara. Add sugar, if needed. 

Condiments

Deep fried tofu - diced.

Mustard green aka sawi - chopped as you like.

Bean sprouts - blanched super quickly.

Eggs - boiled and halved.

Green chilles - thinly sliced.

Fried shallots.

Spaghetti/Yellow noodle/Mee gemuk (in Alwani's language)

Keropok (which I didn't do since lacking of ingredients during this attempt)

Rice flour

Finely chopped garlic

Chicken cube

Water

Mixed them all till very thin. Deep fry. 

Spread thinly at the sides of the frying pan.

Thanks Machik Norziah!

What I learn from being 'a new Ummi, thrice.'

Mak carrying Al Fateh, Monika (R) and the registered midwife (L)

When I was in Perth, the first time mothers were encouraged to attend First-Time Mom Groups, which were held weekly, starting from the first week till the 10th. It was FOC and was supervised by registered midwives. It was fun and helpful, and most importantly, you feel that you have supports from others in the same boat! Some of these tips were gathered from them and from personal 'findings', too. Hopefully they're helpful! 

Tips for new moms out there. 

• DO NOT stress about what you do not know about caring for a newborn. It takes time and every baby is different.
• Make sure you take time out for yourself. You need to take care of yourself, too!
• Accept offers from others to help.
• Breastfeeding can be frustrating at first, but it is well worth it. Invest in a good pump if you can afford it. I personally used Medela PISA from my first born till now (my Medela is celebrating its 6^th birthday soon!)
• When you're nursing - drink, drink, drink. If you notice frequent headaches, you could be dehydrated and in need of more fluid. Good rule of thumb: each time you sit down to a feeding, grab a glass of water.
• Right from the start, let Dad do as much as possible. Avoid the tendency to feel that you are the only one who can look after your child (though it might not be up to your 'standard' but at least you can have some time off!). Aside from breastfeeding, there is nothing that he can't do. Mothers need to give fathers the confidence that they can contribute as much as Mom.
• Sleep in while your husband or a relative watches the baby. If you're breastfeeding, have a bottle (with your milk in it) on hand so you can sleep in. So now, even your husband can feed the baby!
• Calm parents = calm baby
• Starting at birth, talk to you child as if he/she understands everything you say. Don't be afraid to use big or complicated words.
• Keep worry to a minimum. Children go through so many different stages throughout their lives that you will drive yourself crazy over worry. Go with the flow, do what feels right. Stop fussing too much!
• Have patience. Adjusting to the sounds of a screaming baby can be a nerve racking experience. Don’t stress yourself out if your baby doesn’t calm him/herself instantly. It's natural!
• Don't keep the house too quiet when the little one is sleeping. Most new babies sleep just as well in a nosier environment -- and then they don't get used to needing absolute silence!
• Try to teach your baby to get himself to sleep by putting him down awake. When you know your baby is tired, have him fall asleep in his crib without you holding, patting, or rocking him. Al Fateh and Alwani are the living example (but not Yusuf!).
• You and your husband need to make decisions based on what is best for your baby. Don't let other people make you feel bad because you decide to raise your child your way.
• Get your baby on a regular schedule – mine was EAT-PLAY-SLEEP, midwives in Perth taught me this.
• Update your baby book(s) and photo albums on a regular basis. If you put them aside for a few months, trying to catch up can be overwhelming.
• Talk to your baby. It may seem silly talking to your baby at first, but it is how your baby develops speech!
• Use your baby’s name in conversation.  
• As early as you can, read to your child. Read colourful books out loud during breastfeeding and play times.
•  Recite surahs from Al Quran and sing lullabies to your child in the form of zikir. Fantastic tune which soothes the bubb (and you’ll be rewarded by Him in return!) One of the examples is Zain Bhika’s Hush Little Baby.
• Learn and practise your nursery rhymes collections! It has loads of vocabs!      
• Teach your baby independence by teaching him/her to be alone, and most likely he/she will be happy. This will help as the baby gets older to learn how to entertain him/herself for small amount of time.           
• Don't buy too many small clothes--buy big and let your baby grow into them.
• You don't have to buy everything brand new. You child doesn't know the difference. Just as long as you show them you love them, they don't care what they wear. They’ll outgrow them ever so quickly, too!
• Jamu (traditional herbs) can be disastrous - constipation for both moms and baby, less milk production - so use cautiously. 

 And last but not least,

• You will get lots of advice from everyone on how to raise your child. Everyone will share their opinions with you.The best advice is to ignore most of these people and follow your own instincts!

What I learn from 'Peristiwa: PTA of Al Fateh's school'

Partnership 

 

I remember the days when I was teaching in Al Hidayah, eager and passionate parents came and knocked on the classroom door after school to ask about their children's progress. Though there were stacks of books to be marked, I was pleased to know that these parents were concern and wanted to be involved with their children's school work. 

These parents came into my classroom not to accuse me of not teaching their children enough or condemning my pedagogical approaches, but to ask me if there was anything that they could contribute to ensure better  progress, not just for their own child, but for the benefit of others, too. Masha Allah... I was amazed with their matured perspectives and the feeling of togetherness to educate the young minds. 

Partnership between school and home is essential for our child's progress.

I promised myself that however different the phenomenon in my own country, I need to learn from that lesson. I should not point fingers and blame others for any shortcomings of my children's education at school, I need to be involved. I need to be proactive and contribute, too.

Paradigm shift

 

One of the 'formal' channels to contribute is PTA (Parent Teachers Association aka PIBG in Malaysian schools). There should be a shift of thoughts, especially by young professional parents, from non-involvement to active involvement in PTAs. Issues discussed in these meetings are our personal, important issues: the issues of our children's education. This is the place where we can share what we have learned from the schools abroad (especially to those parents who have sent their children to school during their postgraduate days abroad). Not every one is blessed like us, having the chance to experience the education system abroad. However, we can help by sharing our invaluable experiences,  especially with our children's teachers.

Puzzle pieces

Parents contributions complete the puzzle.

During our second Peristiwa (PTA) meeting of the Teaching School of Kuala Terengganu, I was very pleased that the turnouts were overwhelming. Many parents contributed ideas and thoughts in many aspects during the discussion, chaired by my husband, the elected (but-not-so-elated) chairperson. This shows that the parent teacher conference could actually complete some puzzles faced by the teachers, with the help and guidance from the pro-active and dedicated parents.

I surely hope that this dedication perseveres. And I surely pray that the selfless contributions made by these parents will be paid off with excellent education for their children.

What I learn from ‘Al Hidayah’s Merit Certificate’.

In Al Hidayah Islamic School, Bentley, WA, my class consisted of a good mixture of genders, nationalities, first languages, and of course, different level of learning abilities. The year 3 students were at a super active age, who loves to try and learn; and I had a marvelous time creating and improving lessons to feed these thirsty young minds.

Al Hidayah beliefs in the philosophy that all learners need to achieve success on a regular basis and such achievements must be recognized and celebrated. Every Friday, the class and religious studies teachers will have the opportunity to award students with merit certificates. The ‘merit’ was not only applied to excellence in assignments or tests, it also applies to the fantastic behavior (adaab) in class, as well as honoring their progress in learning. I learn that a wonderful climate of achievement can be fostered using this method. Al Hidayah celebrates all students, not just the ‘more intellectually capable’ ones. And I love that philosophy.

Some of the examples of Merit Certificates.

I got them from here.

What I learn from the philosophy of setting a wonderful climate of achievement were, as teachers as well as parents, we should:

1. Show optimism;
2. Demonstrate positive expectations to young people;
3. Emphasise success and potential rather than failings and shortcomings;
4. Stress the value of effort, persistence and the learning process;
5. View mistakes as opportunities for learning;
6. Ensure our judgement and assessment should focus more on the differences between past and present performance, so then the improvement(s) can be seen.
7. Celebrate each success, however small it is, so young people know that they’ll be acknowledged by doing good deeds, even it’s so minute.
8. Understand that all children are born with potential, and we cannot be sure of the learning limits of any child. Hence, shower them with as many learning opportunities as we can.

From the short 2 years I worked in Al Hidayah, I saw considerable evidence to show that when teachers and parents have high expectations of children, they will usually achieve greater success in their learning, and vice-versa. The high expectations should always be accompanied with motivations, support, positive encouragement (and re-encouragement), patience and of course, lots of TLC (tender loving care). Teachers and parents can dramatically influence young people’s attitudes to learning.

Wallahu’alam.

What I learn from ‘the car boot sale @ swap meet’.

It’s Sunday today, my husband and I have some plans to give our sitting area a new look. How I wish we were in the UK or Australia right at this moment to be at the car boot sales to find the odd and unique items with a cut-rate cost, but not shoddy (if you choose wisely).

I enjoyed my Sunday mornings –  rain or shine at the basement car boot Greenside Edinburgh (suffocating though); another covered swap meet at Broadway Fair, Perth, WA; the huge open parking area of Belmont shopping centre, Perth, WA (approximately 200-250 sellers and traders (with a bigger number of bargain hunters, of course); and some other times, when we went visiting friends all around the UK, car boot sales were one of the main activities on Sunday mornings, especially for the postgraduates families.

By the way, to those who are unfamiliar with car boot sales (UK term) and swap meets (OZ term),  it’s a place to buy bargain stuff, mainly pre-loved items (clothing, shoes, luggage, house decors, kitchen appliances) as well as other new unused items sold by traders. In swap meets, pots of plants (flower plants to herbs, including curry leaves, lemon grass, chilli plants), fertilizers and insecticides could be seen and bought.

For some, it’s a crowded place selling junks, but for me, it’s an interesting place to see the culture of others, to have a peep in another’s life, and ultimately, to find something that I need with lower prices (oh, and I could brush up my bargaining skills too!). For the newbie in town, car boot sale is also a place to meet Malaysians!

There were some lessons learned from these car boot sales;

Firstly, I need to have a list. If I didn’t plan things that I needed (and wanted) to buy, I ended up buying things that I didn’t need. When I was in Australia, what I did was (during recuperating days after giving birth to Alwani), I planned on how I want to furnish each room in the (imaginary Malaysian) house (3 bedrooms+2 bathrooms +kitchen +lounge).

Then I usually added another bullet point or two of the things that were needed immediately i.e Alwani’s winter wear size 00-0, Al Fateh wooden puzzles (not compulsory, though! Hahah). For the wives out there, do seek your husband’s permission; he’s going to pay the shipment!

Secondly, if you fail to produce a list, don’t despair, you can still go, BUT you must set a budget. Though from my experience, this was a pretty bad idea. Consider this scenario, I had AUD15 budget, and I brought only that amount to Belmont, no more, no less; and I intend to finish every cent of it on the things that I might need. Do you think it’s wise? But at least when having a (small-ish) budget, you won’t be coming home with too much regrets.

Hence, if you don’t have a list, stay at home! Or better yet, use your $15 budget to buy goodies at Woolies for a picnic/BBQ brunch at King’s Park or Burswood Park, by the Swan River. Or if it’s a beautifully rare sunny day in Edinburgh, why don't we enjoy a cuppa steaming hot coffee with prawn mayo sandwiches accompanied with a truly good book at the Princes Street Gardens. Bliss!

Thirdly, I learn the art of bargaining. I must admit that I'm a good haggler! I think it's inherited from Mak.

Fourthly,  I learn to choose wisely (expensive less quality items vs cheap high quality stuff). If you're a pro-car boot bargain hunters, you'll learn to be choosy. Always remember that you're going to use this item for a long time. And when you found 'it', BARGAIN! It's a must! Wajib!! Oh, and do pay attention to  the sellers, too, since they are the indicator of the products being sold.

Fifthly, when you plan well on the things that you ought to buy, trust me, you'll save a huge sum of money. For us who were just starting our lives in Malaysia, only having our wedding gifts to start our lives with, car boot sales offer a large variety of things that could be essential in your house, both in the UK/Australia as well as Malaysia, that is if you're not too fussy. Roughly, our house that we're staying in at the moment are 80% filled with stuff we bought abroad, both from car boot sales and store sales. Quick instances: Hamza Yusuf are still wearing Al Fateh's clothes which we bought from swap meets, their funky sturdy bookshelf reminded me of the days teaching in Al Hidayah Islamic School, where I used it there earlier.

However, sometimes it's better to save the money from the car boot sales and wait for the Boxing Day sales. i.e. I did not find a suitable and attractive floral arrangement for my lounge, so I did not buy any from the swap meet. It would be useless if I buy the bouquet (which I did not fancy) because I believe that it'll remain in the shipment box forever and ever! Trust me, you should not pay the shipping fees for the things that you don't need. Life's too short to waste your time, money, energy...

So last but not least spare your money for the first-hand items. Use your Argos catalogues (in the UK) and weekly junk mails (Western Australians) as your guide. You need to do your homework to compare prices. Our lovely Corelle was 'buy 2 and get 1 free' sale item at Big W ($80 for 24pax set!), the TEFAL and Marks &; Spencers cookware were bought during post-Christmas sale. Remember the floral arrangement in my list? I found the perfect dark red 'fresh' peony arrangement at Target, 4 days before we shipped our 'treasures' from Australia. And not to forget, for huge furniture, we frequent the charity shops to find good bargains i.e Al Fateh's pine bed and the sturdy study table.

CBS collections: mirror panels 3 for $5, wooden frames 5 for $5, and my lovely red 'fresh' peony $35.99 $9.75 (I still have the price tag on!)

To those who can still enjoy car boot sales and swap meet, I envy you!

What I learn from 'King Eddie Hospital' - Ep 2.

Please click here for Episode 1.

KEMH, Perth

July, 2005 & April, 2007.

KEMH Birth suite

Post-delivery: Educate, educate, educate

I remembered waking up looking at the puffy wee baby in the wheeled-cot, smelling beautiful fresh lilies (feeling impressed at the same time because my husband knows my favourite flower), looking at my not-so-big-anymore tummy and feeling very hungry. I buzz the pink button, and there comes Tamara, a familiar face from the Aqua team. She beamed and congratulated me for the long hard work (so she knew what happened the day before). After a quick check of my chart and other things, she said, 'You need to stretch those legs, come for a short walk around the ward, and I'll reward you later'. I was lucky that I was properly dressed, another crucial information given by the midwives during my final pregnancy visit, which were to pack comfortable dark coloured skirts and buttoned blouses to ease breastfeeding process. 

So I hopped (hahah) out of bed, while Tamara pushed the bub, who was sleeping dreamily in the wheeled-cot. She showed me the pantry, where the labels and marker pens were so that I could label my food to put in the fridge, then the 24 hour guarded nursery, where she left my baby there, then back to the pantry, where she grabbed a tray and filled it with an apple, an orange and mango juice popper, another popper of Brownes' fresh milk and a plate of tuna and egg sandwiches, with a small halal sticker on the cling film.'Let's go, and when you feel hungry, just grab anything in the pantry which has no owners, i.e, no stickers attached to food'.

As I sat on the chair in my room to eat, Tamara explained to me a few things (and this is at 4 in the morning!):

1. Since I was on epidural, it was essential to check that my legs were still in order and out of the pain killers, that was why she wanted me to walk.
2. As I walk, there were no gush of 'clean' blood out of my body, it was a good sign because I was in a very very long labour, blood loss might be one of the complications. 
3. I could never leave the baby alone, at any time. If I need to have a shower, or even to the loo, send the baby to the nursery, or buzz the front desk. Though the bub was wearing the security tag (just like the tags on the clothing at Jusco/Parkson, just a little bit smaller), KEMH didn't want to take any risk.
4. If the baby is too cranky, doesn't want to sleep even after feed and nappy change, please send him/her to the nursery, so that I can sleep and have a rest.
5. No formula allowed. Breastfeeding only! No excuses accepted. 
6. Nappies, towels, and mom's pads and baby's clothing will be supplied by KEMH. (Yes, nappies too! High quality ones!)
7. My lunch and dinner will be halal meals, while breakfast, morning and afternoon tea as well as supper will be tea/coffee/milo + fruits +milk+biccies (and weetabix + toast and jam for breakfast). Sandwiches will always be available in the pantry, if needed. 
8. The baby should always be with the mother, that's where he/she should be. 

And at the end of the information absorbing processes, I completed most of the things on the tray! Tamara then gave me a new baby pack gift from King Eddie, as well as 'My Baby Diary'.

Bathing

Another new thing learned in the morning, just after my husband entered the single suite ward, another midwife came with cheery spirit and announced, 'Are you ready to give the baby the first bath, Dad?' Yes, not me, the ummi, but Abi! Then she said that bringing up a child should not be one-sided, both parents should participate actively. Breastfeeding is the most precious way to connect to your newborn, and the other would be during nappy time and bathing. And so, Abi was taught how to bathe the one-day old baby, from testing the water temperature using the elbow till bundling it with a thin blankie. He beamed with pride, the red sticker on his chest, and I'm very proud of him, too!

The sticker 'I bathed the baby' still in the scrapbook!

Both Al Fateh and Alwani's first baths were conducted by Abi, yes, their FIRST. There were still blood in between their fingers and sticky hair! King Eddie's staff educate us to connect, they want the baby to know that they are loved by Abi and Ummi!

Breastfeeding

A breastfeeding officer visits me frequently, to check my techniques, ensuring that it wouldn't be a painful experience and the baby would be full and satisfied. I learn that it's all in the mind, including your milk flow. The officer told me to think positive, send messages to your brain so that the brain will produce enough milk for the baby. It works, even after my third.

A bit of flash back...

Just after giving birth, though super-tired, the midwife in-charge put the baby on my chest. She said, '10 seconds photo session and feeding time.' Huh? Feeding? How? So, snap-snap-snap, then Lorraine, one of the midwives on duty, stood next to my bed and taught me how to feed my baby, for the first time in my life! It was a magical experience, subhanallah!

After the baby (we didn't have a name yet at that point) was contented and detached himself,  Lorraine told my husband to perform any religious ritual before she started her routine check-up. While my husband recited the azan, she served all three of us a cup of hot chocolate! We didn't expect such courteous and fantastic understanding from King Eddie's staff, but masha Allah, they deserve proper recognition for that.

Before Mak and my husband left for home, they sent me to my suite. In hand, Lorraine had a plastic container, similar to the 1L ice cream tub; she then asked my husband to sign some papers and handed him the tub. In it, cleaned placenta (uri). Mak said, Al Fateh and Alwani's placentas were the easiest to clean since the hospital had done a great job, in a great sealed package, too!

A snap from Alwani's baby scrapbook. Just above Al Fateh's head was the sink where my husband bathe Alwani for the first time. The family photo was taken in Room 28, King Eddie's.

Thank you King Eddie staff, especially the midwives of Aqua team who have been educating us, young parents, with beautiful new knowledge using fantastic gracious methods. I applaud you!

What I learn from 'King Eddie Hospital' - Ep 1.

April, 2005.

Perth.

I was sent by Dr Bong (our GP) to do a thorough check-up of my pregnancy since the papers and data from Malaysia was insufficient. That was the first time when my husband and I entered King Edward Memorial Hospital For Women (KEMH), or better known as King Eddie Hospital. It was my 32nd week of my first pregnancy and I was truly amazed with the 3D ultrasound, especially when we could actually see the exact features of the baby in the womb a.k.a Muhammad Al Fateh about 10 weeks later (yes, he was born 11 days later then the EDD). 

Al Fateh, seconds after he was born at 25.7.2005, KEMH, Subiaco.

Pro Professionals.

It was not just the machine that I was impressed with, but also the warm attitude and professionalism that the radiologist  portrayed to us. It was the first time when someone explained to me that the procedure would be a little bit uncomfortable since the ultrasound gel was cold and she'd be wiggling the ultrasound torch on my protruding tummy (most Malaysians GPs that I met just slap the gel and the torch and do their work, silently.) Well frankly, it was not uncomfortable at all, especially when the flat screen TV monitor above us was showing a movie show, starring our unborn hero in the tummy! She guided us all the way, showing us the spine, all the different bones, labeling them with colorful tags; asking us whether did we know/ do we want to know whether would it be a prince or a princess. All these small gestures helped both of us experiencing beautiful little steps in our journey to become young parents. 

What I learn from her was that I must do my job well, enjoy doing it and ensure that my customer is fully satisfied. That's trust (amanah) in your job.

Patience & Passionate

 

All patients were taken care by midwives and the midwives were divided into groups. I was in the hand of the midwives of Aqua group. At first, I was not sure what difference does it make but after experiencing hard-long-painful-uncomfortable-15 hours labor, with contractions every 2-3 minutes, I do realise that meeting the familiar faces that you meet during your pregnancy as well as the same faces in the labour suite do help you to be calmer and more confident since you know that you're in good hands.   

During the whole birth experience, there would always be a midwife in the room, taking care of us (my husband and myself, Mak came in around 2 hours before the birth of Al Fateh & Alwani). Yes, there were many of us in the room, but it's not cramp because the suite is HUGE with linked shower & toilet! It was easy for us the perform our solah and they even supply Halal food for us. When one of the wild contractions came while my husband performed his prayers, the midwife would be ready with her fancy massages which worked wonders to the aching back, offered me fresh hot water bottle and taught me ways to dilate faster using the big gym ball, sat with me on the chair, telling stories of her family and experiences. I was just fascinated with their passion and patience, like I was too special to be alone during the pain. I must salute their warm professional work etiquette. Triple salute!

Remember I told you that my first labor was a long one? Guess what, Alwani's was long too, 13-hours, shorter by two hours though from Al Fateh's. (So lassies, if some say that the 2nd labour will be easier for all, it's a myth!!) But during both labours, I was not being 'pushed' to give birth as soon as I could. The patience that they have made me feel comfortable and not being rushed, which was super! Though both were long labours, since I always got stuck at 3cm for 5-6 hours, they waited for me to dilate (normally). When a shift were near the end, the hand-over the case process was clear and informed. As I said, the faces were familiar since I've seen them during my pregnancy check-ups, but still, the introduce themselves (again) very well, and the midwife leaving would whisper her good luck wishes to my Mak, my husband and myself. I experienced a full circle shift during Al Fateh's labour, because we checked in and delivered during Lorraine's shift, after 5 shift changes! On the other hand, Alwani was delivered by RMW Eve, who's originally from Aviemore, Scotland, another full circle!

From Aqua Team, Registered Midwife (RMW) Eve,
with  bluish-purplish-pinkish Alwani on 16.4.2007.

 And Alhamdulillah, the results were, I didn't suffer from any tear. Furthermore, their soothing encouragement on how to breathe, demonstrating the correct techniques while I was doing 'it', and giving clear instructions to my husband and Mak on how to help were fantastic in making the birth experiences phenomenal. This was when Mak asked both of us to be grateful to Him for the rare experiences, having passionate professionals working with me through the incredible pain. Alhamdulillah.

Why can't us Muslims be like that?

On another note, HAPPY 67th BIRTHDAY MAK! Thank you for being with both of us during our two labours in King Eddie. WE LOVE YOU!

                                                              

 

What I learn from 'House Renting in OZ'.

My landlady (who stays next door) asked me this morning, "Azza dan Fadzil tak cadang nak pindah kan?" I was a bit taken aback by that question. Does she: 1) want us to pack up and leave, 2) trying to convey a message of rent increment, 3) feel unhappy on the state of our home?
To be continued...


Flashback... (with the blurry effect like in Hallmark channel)


My husband was accepted as a PhD candidate in April 2005 in University of Western Australia (UWA). Alhamdulillah, we were so happy to begin our life, a baby was due in 3 months. It took my husband a while to find a place for us to call home in Perth. I stayed in Seremban for a couple of months, waiting for him to find a place for us, and busy completing my MEd, before flying to Perth.

Our first unit (a 2 bedroom apartment and 1 bathroom) was situated in Banksia St, Joondanna, WA. A super place place for a young family like ours. After a year, Al Fateh, being an active boy, needed a bigger place to channel his energy. At the same time, I was working as a school teacher in Mannington, about 45minutes journey from Joondanna. Thus, the adventure of finding a house with a suitable location and budget began.

A happy kid who needed more space to play!

Location: Dealy Close, Cannington.

The processes involved in finding a rental house in Perth were tedious, yet systematic. All of these were taken care by the housing agent, not the landlord. Lots of forms needed to be filled, with two referees (who must be locals). We could call the agent to look around the house, or we could just drop in during viewing days. If we like it, forms were to be returned to the agents to be assessed by the landlord. Usually, there would be 3 or more interested tenants; some tenants did bid to pay extra $20-$50/week to ensure the place was theirs, but we did not. Paying $180-200 per WEEK was more than enough!

I enjoyed house viewing! Some houses were new, some were old but ALL were taken care well. This is what I learn from my vast house viewing in Perth. All of the houses for rent were spick and span! From the garage to the kitchen, it was spotless! It's like the old adage, cleanliness is next to godliness. Allah asks us to be clean, Rasullullah showed marvelous examples in regards to cleaning.

Breakfast with our visitors in our backyard at Dealy Close.

By the way, we got a house, after the 5th attempt, in Dealy Close, Cannington (which took around 6 weeks!). How did they accept us? The agent called our previous agent and ask us on our quarterly inspection reports as well as payment. Yes, you read well. We had inspections every 3-4months. The agent would post to us a letter to announce their arrival (we hated these letters!), usually 2 weeks in advance. This letter imposes us to scrub and scrape all the dirt in every corner of the house AND the compound, too! How cool, eh? Nevertheless, what I learn from this is that we need to take care of the property that we live in, whether it's ours, rented or borrowed. You need a shelter, so take care of it!


back to present time (and tense...)

It's a shame when we go for our late afternoon drives, we can actually differentiate between owned/rented properties (most of the time). It disgusts me to see some can live in a filthy environment, and that's only the exterior of the house. Astaghfirullah. But I really hope that the interior is way better. By all means, I'm not a super clean freak, do ask my husband for confirmation, but at least, your home, where you pray, eat, rest, play with your kids and sleep, it should be clean-ish! (Amy of FPE, I know you are nodding frantically! I feel sorry for you and your filthy yet expensive rental house experience).

Al Fateh learns to use paint, pencils, crayons and markers only on papers
because of the renting system in Australia.

All in all, I learn alot from our house renting experiences in Perth:

• we need to take care of others' property, as if we are borrowing a thing from a good friend, we are obliged to return it in near perfect condition.
• we dont take care of our house to satisfy the landlord/landlady, but we do it for the sake of Allah.
• if we are so used to live in a dirty and messy condition most of our renting lives, will we actually make a paradigm shift when we move to our own home?
• I pity the landlords out there. Full stop.
• I should start teaching my kids about responsibility of using others' belongings. Take care of your things as if it's your own. Even the see-saw and the swings at the park.